By If there’s one old chestnut we hear time and time again about Tinder — especially from people who have never been on it — it’s a cesspit of vice infested by immoral types who go on it looking for carnal pleasures outside the boundaries of a formal relationship. In other words it’s an app for people looking for casual sex.
Perhaps this was true in 2014, but not in 2013. Tinder was founded in that year as a means to help college students find friends, so go figure.
The question is, is it true now? Is the world of Tinder a shadowy one populated only by lustful horndogs wishing only for quick no strings attached copulation to slake their decadent thirst? Is Tinder still first and foremost a hookup app?
A dating apocalypse?
That view did receive publicity in 2015.
A now notorious Vanity Fair article spoke of Tinder bringing about a “dating apocalypse” for young women.
The argument probably had a good deal of truth in it at the time.
It asserted that women in their 20s were having difficulties finding boyfriends because men their age were so busy looking for hookups on Tinder.
What was true for the 20 pluses however, was one thing. What was and is true for the over 40s is another thing altogether.
“Come hither” profile
That isn’t to say that a no-strings-attached culture doesn’t exist on Tinder
You don’t need to see many bio shots of people whose clothes have mysteriously fallen off to know some are looking mainly for hookups.
Some of these people are amongst those who most adamantly deny that they’re looking to scratch a decent itch.
But my own experiences have shown me — for good or for bad — that plenty of people are on Tinder for relationships.
The rise and rise of the “no ONS” profile
When it comes to women there is one particular detail that leaves the attentive observer without much doubt.
I’m talking about the fact that the acronym most frequently seen in female profiles seems to be “No ONS!!!” (No One Night Stand).
Of course there may well be readers who wonder why so many women feel the need to point this out so strongly.
Could it be that it is because the menfolk of Tinder are utter sluts? Is that they are only looking for a quick bit of slap-and-tickle and the poor women are trying to preempt the inevitable flood of advances?
Or is it because the women are failing to get real here?
Two kinds of Tinder guy
I decided to ask a couple of female friends.
One said: “The idea that most men on Tinder are looking for hookups maybe used to be true — but not anymore.
“Nowadays you’ve got a bit of everything. In my experience most of the guys who are purely interested in hooking up will be explicit about that fact. They don’t want to waste their time.”
Another said she was looking for hookups herself from time to time. Of course this depended on how good-looking she thought the guy was.
She said: “Are there guys on Tinder who are just looking for one thing? Yes.
“But generally it’s only the ones who are good looking enough to get away with it. Most of the more normal looking guys are a bit more realistic.”
A walk on the mild side
I’ve been using internet dating platforms and apps for eight years now (check out some of my mishaps here).
Initially my favourite app was Meetic (as Match.com is known where I live).
But over the years I’ve noticed that the kind of people I would have met there are migrating to Tinder.
Whatever people think, Tinder is no longer only frequented by those in search of a quick leg trembler.
It might have been mad bad and dangerous to know, but Tinder has cut its hair. It has removed its tattoos and settled down with a glass of warm milk.
Probably the reason is its simplicity and freeness compared to the utter ripoffs pricing structures of some of its competitors.
And that means Tinder is actually one of the best apps for newcomers.
So newbies, come on, what are you waiting for?
